“No, I Will Not Let You Steal My Necklace!”

Several decades ago, when I was barely eighteen years old, I spent a year in upstate New York as a cultural exchange student. With me, at the time, together with many others from many different countries, was a young lady from a certain Latin American country. She was a ravishing beauty, who had happened to be the beauty queen of her country the previous year. She lived in a neighbouring town and we met often and became good friends. 

We soon fell in love and started going out together. It was a beautiful relationship: We were both young and carefree with our whole lives before us. We danced together, laughed together, swam together, camped under the stars together. We kissed, we hugged, held hands, snuggled against each other, but she always drew the line at any suggestion of  any kind of sexual relationship. “Nobody is going to touch me until I am married!” she would exclaim passionately. I soon learned to respect her for it and now, in hindsight, I would say that our relationship was even more beautiful and enjoyable because of it (although I held a very different view at the time!).

At the end of a blissful year together, inevitably, we parted and returned to our respective countries. We kept in touch sporadically, but this soon petered out. Then, one day, a few years later, out of the blue, I got a call from her. She was coming to Singapore for a photo-shoot and could possibly take a weekend off and fly over to Sri Lanka if I would like to catch up and had the time.

I met her at the airport and we drove straight down to a beach resort on the south coast of Sri Lanka where I had booked a weekend getaway. That evening, over a candlelit dinner, with the sea breeze wafting over us as we dined in the lee of the mangroves, she looked more beautiful than ever. I noted that she still wore her diamond-studded gold necklace from many years ago. That necklace had been a gift to her from her mother on her eighteenth birthday. I learned that her mother had passed away since, a couple of years ago.

After dinner, we went for a walk along the beach in the moonlight. The roar-hiss of the waves, as they broke incessantly on the beach, and the blowing sea breeze, insulated us in a warm cocoon of sound and we walked arm in arm, oblivious to all else but each other and the beauty of the scene around us.

Suddenly, two men appeared out of the darkness and grabbed us. I was being held in a choke-hold from behind and as I struggled to free myself, I felt the sharp point of a knife thrust against my throat. I ceased to struggle and saw to my horror that my lady-friend was struggling with the other man, who also had his hands at her throat. He was trying to grab her necklace and she was resisting him fiercely, telling him determinedly “No, I will NOT let you steal my necklace!” Conscious of the knife at my throat, I advised her to “Let him take it, they have knives!” I was anxious to cut our losses and get away from them as quickly as possibly, fearful of what else they might decide to do to her. But she continued to resist vigorously. Finally she called out to me, “Ask him to let go of me and I will give it to him, but I will not let him grab it from me!” I called out to her attacker, translating what she said into Sinhalese – “Let go of her, she will give you the necklace!” I told him. Somewhat bemused, he stopped grappling with her and took a step away, but still held on to her arm. I was still in the firm grip of my assailant, with the knife held firmly against my throat. Panting to catch her breath, she called out to me, “Harin, please translate for me. I want to tell this man something.”

She then proceeded to look her assailant squarely in the eye and told him earnestly, “I will give you my necklace, but I will not let you steal it from me. Do you understand? I will give it to you as a gift, rather than turn you into a thief by letting you steal it from me. You are not a thief! You were not born to become a thief, your mother didn’t raise you to become a thief and whatever your religion may happen to be, my God won’t let me allow you to become a thief!” I translated what she had said, while she calmly unclasped her necklace and offered it to him, gently, almost tenderly, “Here, take it! It is my gift to you, for you are a good man – too good to become a thief!”

I watched with amazement as the ruffian slowly backed away - as if he were mesmerized by her gaze, which continued to hold steadily on him - as she continued to offer him her necklace, stretching out her hand toward him. “Here, take it! I’m offering it as a gift. See, how beautiful it is!  But not as beautiful as the person you were born to be – the one that your mother raised you to be. It’s very precious! These are real diamonds and it is real gold! But not as precious as you are – God would never forgive me if I allowed you to become a thief!” I translated as best as I could, fumbling awkwardly for appropriate Sinhalese phrases to convey the essence of what she was saying.

The ruffian looked at her in stunned disbelief and finally told her in broken English “Nona, I ……very …sorry….you….please… keep….I sorry you touch” and with that he called out to his accomplice “Vareng, yamu, thava kaala kanni venna kaling!” (Lets get out of here before we become even more miserable) and they disappeared into the night.

We walked back to our hotel in silence. Later that night, as I lay next to her in the dark, I asked her “Would you have really parted with the necklace that your mother gave you?” She replied without hesitation “Harin, that necklace is very valuable, several thousand dollars maybe, but it is the least precious thing that my mother gave me. She gave me love, she gave me values. One of those values is the conviction that human beings and human lives – no matter how miserable and wretched they may be – are far more valuable than gold and diamonds. I would gladly give up the necklace any day rather than give up my values, for they are by far the greater gift that my mother has given me.” With that, she turned over and fell fast asleep.

I lay awake until dawn, listening to the swish-boom of the ocean waves on the rocks outside the window, pondering, while she slept the sleep of a pure conscience. She left the next day and I haven’t heard from her since. Every now and then, when I hear of someone being mugged or having their bag snatched, I hear the distant echo of a sensual Latin accent wafting over a warm ocean breeze, determinedly exclaiming, “No, I will not let you steal my necklace!, No, I will not let you become a thief!”

Harin Corea

11^th February,2012

Melbourne, Australia.

One of the Lucky Ones

On 3 February 2012 09:28,xxxxxxxxx (xxxxxx@xxxx.xx) wrote:

Dear big scary Person

I'm Edgar Xxxxxxxx Xxxxx and I don't know you yet as I've only been born
yesterday afternoon in Winchester Hospital, UK. I know my Mama well
and also my Papa and got a taste of my sisters and
also of my Yaya who is visiting...

I had a birth weight of 3.7kg, am 55cm long and was 17 days late (albeit
"experts" are still debating what my real due-date was). Tonight I'll be
sleeping in my very own bed as both Mama and I were doing very well and
hence they let us go home already.

I hope to get to know you soon!

Edgar

--------------------------------------------------------------------

3^rd February, 2012

Dear Edgar,

Welcome to this world!

I'm sorry about the rather parlous state it is in at the moment, but we haven't been very good in our global housekeeping these past few decades and the place has got rather dirty and run down compared to what it was.

Nevertheless, It is still the most hospitable place I happen to know of, within this Universe, and I'm sure you and others of your generation will be much better "globe-keepers" than the ones that came and went before you.

Might I also say that you are a very lucky person. I say this for many reasons.

The first is that you have been born into a family with a Mom and a Dad as well as two delightful, healthy siblings. That puts you immediately ahead of most of the other babies born around the world today.

The second reason is that you have been born to parents and siblings who will and are able to love you, care for you, and feed and clothe you according to - and far beyond - your needs. You will never know chronic hunger or suffer from undernourishment like most of your brethren who were born with you. You will never be too cold or too hot, for you will have the comforts of heating and air-conditioning. You will never have to think about that cup of water that you draw from the tap in your home to quench your thirst and how it got there. You will quench your thirst and toss away the balance without even being aware of the fact that day by day, many of those born with you are dying for lack of clean water or water of any sort for that matter. When the time comes for you to walk, you will have shoes to wear - that puts you ahead of more than half your brethren born today.

The third reason is that you have been born into a country free of conflict, war and foreign invasion. That puts you ahead of more than a third of your brethren. (The fact is that you have been born into a country that has done most of the invading, enslaving, destabilizing and subjugating of other countries in the world in recent history - but, no doubt, you and your generation will fix that).

The fourth reason is that your parents will make sure and be able to provide you with a good education from pre-school through to University. You will have a school to go to - many of your brethren do not. Your school will have teachers to teach you - many of the schools your brethren attend do not. You will have books to read and learn from, stationery to write on and all the benefits of the modern digital era to obtain, collate and disseminate information and knowledge. Half your brethren will not.

The fifth reason is that you will frequently go on holiday. Half your brethren will barely even know the meaning of the word.

The sixth reason is that your parents will never sell you or hire you out to sweatshops, the pornographic industry or to pedophiles. Many of your brethren, from as young as five years on will be.

The seventh reason is that you will never have to leave your family and go to far away cities to work as a domestic child-servant, where, very likely you will suffer physical, mental and sometimes sexual abuse. Many of your brethren will.

The eighth reason is that, whenever you fall ill, you will have medical care close at hand. You will have a hospital or clinic to go to, there will be doctors and nurses to attend you, they will have the appropriate diagnostic aides and equipment to examine you and they will have medicines to dispense to you. That is a privilege most of your brethren will never enjoy.

The ninth reason is that you have been born with very fortunate colour of skin. The chances are you will never be spat on, harassed, abused, or assaulted by strangers because of it. When you go for a hike in your country and stop at a country pub, you will not be refused service or made to wait until every body else is served before you are, (or patronized and discriminated against in numerous other ways) because of it (I was and many others are - frequently). When it comes to your career, you will walk through barriers, doors and ceilings which you won’t even realize exist, purely because of your fortunate colour.

I could go on and on, but the simple fact I hope you will realize one day, is, Edgar darling, you have been BORN LUCKY and PRIVILEGED!

The tenth and most important reason is that you have been born to two wonderful parents, who will always be there for you and always do their best for you - believe me, I know them! SO MAKE THE MOST OF IT!!!

Good luck and congratulations to your Mom, Dad and siblings and may your good luck follow you and grow with you always!

All my love and good wishes!

Big, Bald, Black, Scary Uncle Harin :-)

The Importance of Becoming Australian

January 26^th was Australia day. My two sons, aged 8 and 10 years became Australians on that day. Australian citizenship with all its attendant rights, privileges and responsibilities was formally conferred upon them at the city hall in a ceremony presided over by the mayor. The cultural performers from the local aboriginal community – the Wurrundjeri Nation – who were supposed to perform, failed to show up.

I watched from the audience as my two imps scampered up to the Mayor grinning like chimpanzees to receive their certificates of citizenship, an Australian flag, a poster of native australian wildlife and a handful of lollies. I watched them sing the Australian Anthem with gusto, followed by “Waltzing Matilda” and “Give me a Home Under the Gum Trees” with the accompanying actions. They were having the time of their lives.

I couldn’t help my tears which flowed freely as the import of what was happening before my eyes suddenly hit me. What right had I, to uproot these two innocent lads from their native culture and land and bring them here to Australia to become Australians? We weren’t fleeing  disaster, war, persecution or economic deprivation – the traditional imperatives for human migration. We weren’t even seeking a “better” life! The life we had in our native Sri lanka was extraordinarily privileged. The truth was that we took a socio-economic step down when we migrated here. So why did we come?

Several years ago, back in Sri Lanka, as we were preparing to emigrate, I had the answer to everybody’s question – “Why are you leaving when you already have a great life here”? My response was “I can’t deprive my children the opportunity that is available to them [to grow up in Australia and all the attendant opportunities that would give them]”. Once they grow up, if they decide they want to return to Sri Lanka, they could do so, I told myself and anyone else who was interested. I was particularly keen to give them the benefits of Australian Primary School education. I had observed their cousins going through primary school in Australia and was convinced that the Australian Primary education system, was perhaps the best in the world. (I wasn’t so impressed with the secondary education, but that is another matter).

But the real reason we came was much deeper than that. I wanted to save them from growing up in an atmosphere of uncertainty – where the course of one’s life could be suddenly wrenched and torn apart by the fickle whim of a politician, a monk or a rabble-rouser. Where social diversity was considered a social danger and being different was a basis to be despised and hated rather than included and celebrated. Where the basic luxuries of life like a decent education and a decent job depended on whom one knew rather than who one was. Where one could not get basic services from any government department unless one “spoke to someone” or “knew someone” or “oiled a few greasy palms” on the way. I wanted my sons  to have a “Fair Go” in life!

Co-incidentally, after coming here, I discovered that a “Fair Go” for everyone, is what Australians espouse, treasure and aspire to. It is the conscious and sub-conscious yardstick by which all Australians measure policy and social fabric. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you came from or why you are here – you deserve a fair go!

Now, four years on, my sons are well into Australian Primary school and thriving. They are enthusiastic participants in local sports clubs, little athletics and anything else that happens to be going on in the neighbourhood. Once they finish primary school, they will move on to one of several available secondary schools in the area – any of which will give them a “fair go” at a place in University or TAFE (vocational college) or whatever they wish to pursue in life. Whatever path, career or job they happen to pursue, will give them a “fair go” at paying their own way – buying a decent house, a functional car and starting a family.

None of this will come without some hard work and effort. But it is possible and achievable to any Australian child, except, perhaps, some native Australian children. For although the Australian system has been working hard at absorbing and integrating the migrant milieu that has been arriving on its shores for over a hundred years, it has only recently begun to address the problem of absorbing and integrating the original inhabitants of the land in to mainstream Australian life and all its privileges. They still don’t have a chance at a “fair go” like the rest of us newcomers and old timers who make up the modern face of Australia. 

A migrant nation has been forged on this land by a raft of migrants new and old and it continues to grow from within and without as more migrants continue to arrive and be absorbed into this nation. It has been forged on land occupied for centuries by others and they too, need to be welcomed and included into mainstream modern Australian life. It is not sufficient to verbally acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land we live and thrive on.  They need to be celebrated and assisted to become fully Australian with all its attendant benefits, rights and responisbilities, if the flag  of a “Fair Go” is to continue to fly high and proud over this nation.

Harin Corea

1^st February, 2012

Melbourne, Australia.